The Brief
I had a rough time at the beginning of this project when I heard we could pick anything as our topic to base our zine upon. It's always so daunting with the word 'anything.' "Hey, what do you wanna eat?" "Anything." Oh god.
We were asked to think over our topic and gather key elements over the weekend. I though about it, but I came up with nothing. I knew it had to be something I'm passionate about, but if I'm being honest, I'm not really passionate about anything. It sounds bad, but I'm just overall casual about my interests. When I came into uni on Monday, I found out that most people already had something in mind.
That's when I sat down with my mate Sebastian and complained to him about my unproductive weekend and how I was already behind. He stared at me and asked, "Okay, what makes you angry the most?"
"Men," I replied.
"Okay, use that as your topic," he suggested.
I told him that I wasn't interested in drawing something I'm angry about, as that would only frustrate me in the long run. He then said, "Okay, what's something that calms you down?"
"Being around girls," I replied.
"Great, there's your topic," he said.
And that's how I landed on my topic: something revolving around girls. I thought about feminism, but when you say that word, people are either always arguing about the true meaning of it or bringing up the most traumatizing statistics just to prove a point. Men and women have been so angry and loud about feminism that the word has started to invoke panic and anxiety around society. It is now considered a controversial topic and is only brought up in negative scenarios.
But I didn't want something negative in my zine. I wanted something calming and peaceful, but not in a preachy way. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to show the softer and more loving side of the word feminism to remind people that income inequality, reproductive rights, sexual assault, and other popular terms associated with the movement aren't all that being a woman is about.
I thought about calling my topic "womanhood" or "female relationships" or "feminine unity," but they all felt too mature and serious. I was looking for something more pure and innocent. And that's how I landed on "Girlhood."
Embracing the Inner Child Workshop
We were asked to list down some keywords related to our topic and then visually depict them on an A1 page. I listed down quite a few, and I'm glad I did because most of these keywords helped me towards my final zine. I started scribbling them down and added patterns here and there to fill up space. Then, we were asked to cut the page down into 8 A4s and bind them. I was afraid since I drew actual figures and objects, they wouldn't match up and look right, so I added smaller objects in emptier spaces.
A1 sheet designs before cutting them up into 8 A4 sizes
Cover
my pesronal favourite
another personal favourite
least favourite
Back
I actually loved how it turned out. Some of the pages complemented each other really well. I'm so glad I used something bright like Posca pens and highlighters for the doodling. They really bring about that vibrant and playful atmosphere I was trying to achieve and continue with my actual zine. After stapling the pages, I added some more doodles and patterns to make some of the pages look less awkward.
Initial Ideas
Keywords revolving Girlhood
My initial Pinterest board was a journey through settings and atmospheres where I felt most comfortable. It was all about exploring themes of unity, friendship, self-care, and solidarity, which I aimed to convey through my zine.
Movies and Books
Thirteen
LadyBird
Little Women
Clueless
Poor Things
The Devil Wears Prada
Mean Girls
Barbie
Pride and Prejudice
Here are some movies I've watched and rewatched to immerse myself in the right mindset:
Anne Of Green Gables
Anne With An 'E'
I can't stress enough how much I adore "Anne of Green Gables" and its Netflix adaptation, "Anne with an E." It's my all-time favorite rewatch, and while the book has a slightly darker and more explicit tone, the show has been transformed into one of the most wholesome and innocent pieces of media I've ever experienced.
"Anne with an E" beautifully captures the essence of girlhood through its protagonist, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. Anne's resilience and determination in the face of challenges resonate deeply, showcasing themes of friendship, self-discovery, and empowerment. The series celebrates the importance of supportive bonds and the courage to challenge societal norms, making it a compelling and relatable portrayal of girlhood for audiences of all ages.
There are countless scenes from "Anne with an E" that have left a lasting impact on me, but here are a few that have stayed with me over time:
Research
Here are some articles I read to delve into other people's experiences with girlhood. Most of them were filled with sweetness and innocence, but one common theme stood out among them all: reminiscing. Like me, many women who have transitioned out of girlhood express a longing for those simpler times. It seems as though we were propelled from girlhood straight into womanhood without much explanation. Women often reflect on how they wish they had savored their youth more and express the fear and uncertainty that accompanied growing up. Many of them confess that despite being adults now, they still feel like a girl at heart. However, societal norms often prevent them from openly embracing this side of themselves.
This realization saddened me a bit because despite the outward differences between girlhood and womanhood, they are remarkably similar experiences.
Sources
PowerPoint Slides
Here are some slides from my PowerPoint presentation with Izzy that delve deeper into the foundation of my topic:
I wanted to demonstrate how girlhood and womanhood are essentially similar experiences, just presented in different fonts.
Initial Sketches
I decided to explore the feeling of 'fear of womanhood' through some quick sketches as part of my exploration for the zine's style. My goal was to find a balance between bright, bold colors and a somewhat childlike aesthetic. Experimenting with Posca pens and highlighters, I aimed to create sketches with a playful vibe. Additionally, I tested whether they would glow in the dark, and they did!
Here's me experimenting with various styles and scenarios that I could incorporate into the zine.
Scrapbooking and pen
Scrapbooking and stamps
Acrylic and Posca
Digital
Here's an animation I couldn't complete due to the loss of the files.
Here's a hand-drawn loop animation on female rage.
Final Idea
For the final concept, I opted to cast a softer light on the typically daunting journey from girlhood to womanhood. I compiled a list of various scenes to illustrate in each section.
I aimed for the zine to have a fluidity, allowing readers to feel like they're growing alongside the girls depicted on the pages. The midpoint of the zine serves as the transition point, where subsequent pages may initially appear jarring, yet they are contrasted with calming scenes.
I knew I wanted to incorporate text into the zine, but not in the form of dialogues; rather, I envisioned poetry. While I didn't have any content prepared yet, I left some space and composed the images to harmonize seamlessly with any future typography plans.
Here are my rough sketches presented in the form of a mini zine.
Cover
Middle Page
End
Artist Inspiration
I was truly inspired by the art style of Elena Rossato, an illustration artist. Her bold use of colors on the cheeks and eyes, coupled with the vibrant purples and blues, left me in awe. It was then that I realized I wanted to incorporate the color red in a similar fashion to hers. Additionally, I aimed to infuse my art with a touch of unruliness, mirroring her approach.
Instagram: @roxartss
Cover Page and Name
Here's a timelapse of me illustrating the cover page and experimenting with different fonts for the title. I ultimately decided to name my zine 'Sugar, Spice, and Not Very Nice,' a nod to the iconic children's cartoon Powerpuff Girls. The inclusion of 'not very nice' in the title alludes to the challenging transition into womanhood.
Poetry and Text
Here are a few poems I wrote but ultimately decided to discard.
I believe the little things in girlhood are what makes being a girl in this world worth it.
Not the scary looks from creepy old men,
Or the fear of getting raped because god forbid you leave the house alone past 6pm,
Nor never being skinny enough for society,
Or your first bully being your mother;
But the little things that make up for it.
Sharing a mirror with your girlfriends,
As you put sparkles all over their face,
Trying on a dress too tight in a mall fitting room,
Only to come out with your sisters squealing with joy,
Dancing to Taylor Swift in your underwear,
And giggling about the sight of your crush,
With your friends in the middle of the school hallway,
The tiny pink shiny things,
Are what makes this course tolerable.
x
Sometimes I forget that my mom was once my age.
That she had her own life before she brought life to mine.
She was a girl,
With big dreams larger than her small hometown,
And many friends along the way who I will never meet,
Sharing laughter together, creating secrets and memories that I myself will never know about,
She was a girl,
With a sister half her age and a strange interest in all things soft, a love for the arts and worries about the future.
We are mirrored images of each other.
One looks at who she may be,
The other seeing herself for what she used to be.
It is peculiar to imagine my mom as an 18 year old.
How has she known me for my whole lifetime?
While I've only known her for a fraction of her own?
But there is nothing to imagine because she was an 18 year old girl,
And I am an 18 year old girl,
And somehow in different timelines,
We were girls together.
x
Inside the women's bathroom, a random stranger compliments you on your outfit,
You hear girls who didn't know each other five minutes ago, laugh about silly boys and exchange social media, where they will instantly go and like the last three posts.
On a busy street, one girl tells a stranger she has rubbish stuck to her shoe, another tells someone she loves her top, and someone just told you your bag is open.
Two girls have a conversation and one stops the flow to tell her she has lipstick on her teeth, that her mascara has smudged or simply to ask if she is doing ok.
Are you the girl who asked for a pad, pain relief or a hair tie and received it without question?
From one girl to another, this is your girlhood.
x
Girlhood is rosy red cheeks,
And lace trimmed dresses,
Forced upon you by your mother,
It's filled with pleases and thank you's,
At the end of every conversation,
Like icing on a beautifully curated cake.
Girlhood is being told boys will be mean,
Only because they like you,
And accepting that love comes with anger and pain,
Like some twisted package deal.
Girlhood is being told to be quiet by adults,
For you are nothing but a silly girl,
Without a mind of her own.
Girlhood is gut wrenching and painful,
And prepares you for the world,
And your impending fate that awaits,
Of girlhood turning into womanhood,
Which hurts a hell of a lot more,
Than girlhood ever did.
x
There are things about being a woman,
Men will never understand.
How it feels to find the right pair of jeans,
And applying the second coat of nail polish
That's the perfect shade of red.
Washing off your makeup after a long day,
And getting into pajamas with your sisters
To talk about everyone's outfit for the night.
But most of all,
Getting ready for a night out with the girls.
The first hour of tidiness that's escalated to a hurricane.
The communal mirror everyone gathers around.
The endless makeup products everywhere.
"Oh my god, I love your eyeliner, can you do mine?"
The designated hairstylist.
Forgetting to eat and ordering food mid-getting ready.
Someone frantically doing their nails
"Don't worry it'll dry up in time of you do this!"
Zipping up each others dresses.
Someone having a meltdown over their outfit.
"Here you can borrow this!"
Planning when to leave and the meeting point.
Taking pictures before the makeup smudges,
And hair gets ruined.
Complimenting everyone even though,
You helped them get ready.
"Everybody get in the picture!!!"
How could a man ever understand this?
Final Pages
Middle Page
Sugar, Spice and Not Very Nice- Photography
Some pictures of my favourite pages from the zine done in the photography studio. I binded it with red thread to fit the tone of the zine.
Backlit Gallery
The Backlit gallery was a blast, just like last year. It was a great way to relax after such a big deadline and admire everyone's zines.
